Captain Tarpel's adventure in Otah Gunga
by Archaeologist
Summary: Captain Tarpels watches Boss Nass and the Jedi as they discuss Bink's future


**Captain Tarpel's adventure in Otah Gunga or is it dinner yet?**

**Summary:** Captain Tarpels watches Boss Nass and the Jedi as they discuss Bink's future  
**Timeframe:** during The Phantom Menace  
**Genre:** humor, rated G  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own Captain Tarpels or JarJar Binks or the Jedi or Boss Nass or the Star Wars concept; Lucasfilm does. I am very respectfully borrowing them with no intent to profit. No credits have changed hands. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

Captain Tarpels was bored. 

It was the end of his shift and his pod-mate had promised that she would make his favorite, mud-crabs with weed tubers, for last meal. But now he had to stand behind that bumbling accident, Binks, and listen to Boss Nass drone on and on about the Naboo.

Didn't the head of Otah Gunga have any respect for a Gungan's right to eat? It was really too much.

Binks shifted nervously next to him, disrupting Tarpel's thoughts about hunger and mud-crabs. That the Gungan menace to all sentient beings had returned was another stab in his webbing. After all, JarJar had destroyed Nass's party, injured dozens and, if that wasn't bad enough, made his pod-mate furious when he returned late from the clean-up. For JarJar to come back now, with these odd-looking humans, was unacceptable.

The action was picking up, though, and at least it would make the last few minutes before shift-end tolerable.

The taller human seemed upset, asking for help.

That was not going to happen. Boss Nash was a notorious bigot. He hated humans, thought they were too pushy, too contemptuous of the Gungan people.

Nass was saying something about the Naboo, that they were less than welcoming to the Gungans, that their heads were so big.

Tarpels tried not to laugh. Nass was the one with the big head and the attitude of a politician. Always trying to boss the rest of them around. Even the designation - Boss. Who in their right mind could take him seriously with a title like that?

Even worse, he spits when he gets excited. Tarpels was glad he was hiding behind Binks. He knew that by the end of this debate with the humans, there would be spittle flying. Disgusting.

Oh, now the smaller human was saying that they form a symbiote circle with the surface dwellers. What in the name of aqua-trellis is a symbiote circle?

It didn't matter because Tarpels knew it would be no use. Nass would never help them. Never.

A second later, he felt vindicated. Boss Nass was giving them a bongo. A bongo! A pleasure craft, made for small jaunts into the swamps beyond the city. It was certainly not water-worthy for long trips. Besides, the sea monsters loved them. The fins on the back seemed to be a special lure for the larger creatures of the Core.

This was wonderful. It meant that he would be eating last meal in minutes. His mouth began to water with the thought.

Then, catastrophe. Food would have to wait.

The taller human, the one with the long tufts of fur on his head, was speaking again, asking about Binks, saying something about a life debt.

Why would anyone, even a foolish human, want the infamous blundering disaster with him? It made no sense but it did rid him of the problem of having to take Binks to lock-up and filing arrest forms. Let the pasty-faced human drag him away and good riddance.

Sigh….he knew he should pay more attention or at least look like he was paying attention but his first stomach was starting to hurt. He wanted dinner. He wanted mud-crabs and his pod-mate blinking flirtatiously at him. He wanted the end of his shift.

But instead there was more talking. More hand-waving.

Nass was talking, asking about that pesky life debt and then he smiled, that wide, smug smile and waved his hand, shouting for Binks to leave.

Tarpels knew what was coming and he dove behind Binks - just in time. The spittle flew across the room.

Breathing a sigh of relief at avoiding the worst of it, Tarpels stood up, uncuffing Binks and letting him go. He watched as the clumsy fool stumbled up the stairs after the humans and out of sight.

At least, Boss Nass is doing something right. Letting JarJar go would rid the Otah Gungans of the bumbling menace forever.

And he could have last meal.

It was about time.


End file.
